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I thought I'd drop you a line to express our thanks for a great weekend. From start to finish your team were fabulous. Please pass on my appreciation to Emila & Dominika for their patience when dealing with such a large group of very high spirited guys. 
Custard, mustard and ..?
Two gays enter a bar in Krakow and the senior of the two tells his chum to go to the bar and order two glasses of gin. Off he minces and, finding a place at the bar where he can discreetly massage his piles, asks ‘Two glasses of gin please.’
The barman, a dyed in the wool homophobe, says ‘Yes Sir. Certainly. What kind of gin would you like?’
’What do you have?’
’Well Sir. There are three types of gin. Oxygen, hydrogen and nitrogen. Which do you prefer?’
The poor young faggot was totally confused and returned, empty-handed, to his mentor to whom he gave a verbatim account of the conversation. This particular worthy was infuriated and stormed to the bar as fast as his mince could carry him.
In a stern but queenly voice, he summoned the barman and asked for ‘Two glasses of turd please.’
The barman was taken aback and stammered ‘I don’t understand you Sir’
The customer explained ‘Well Landlord. There are three types of turd. Custard, mustard and you, you big shit! Now give me two glasses of gin.’