A stag once fell foul of all the food and booze he’d consumed during a 72 hour stay in Krakow. The poor sod found a liking for bean soup during his stay and reckoned without the consequences. He was between dumps and feeling seriously bloated whilst attending a strip dinner in a private room at his hotel. He was seriously pissed but also a gentleman. So rather than give vent to his farts in the company of his mates, he reasoned that he could reasonably slip upstairs to his room and do the deed.

He drunkenly excused himself and left the group and got into the lift. He punched a few buttons and comforted himself that he would soon be sitting on his crapper and voiding his bowels. The lift stopped and he hopped out and staggered off in the direction of room 61. When he got there, he was a little irritated with himself and his room mates for not having locked the door. The apartment could have been burgled by anyone that tried the door.

He entered the room and immediately turned left into the bathroom. Somewhat groggily, he dropped his drawers, sat down and let rip with a fart that lasted about 10 seconds. He then took a dump and blew away his breakfast in Liverpool, 2 lunches and one dinner in Krakow, plus all the gas generated by about 24 beers consumed in two days. It was, I’m told, loud, stinky and disgusting!

Thus comforted, our man cleaned up, washed his hands and left the bathroom. As he went, he looked to the left and saw the head waitress, sitting on her bed and looking at him in total horror. Instead of room 1, in the 6^th floor, he’d found room 6 on the 1^st, the room reserved for overnight staff!

Did you hear the one about the guy on his wedding night that thought his wife was virgin territory?

After the wedding breakfast, the happy couple went to their hotel bedroom where the husband thought he’d be able to establish his dominance of sexual matters for the rest of his life. “Begin as you mean to continue”, he thought.

His wife shyly undressed her beautiful body while he gazed in admiration at the creamy white flesh, the perky nipples and all the goodies that were presented to him. Tearing his gaze from the neatly trimmed triangle of hair that had been revealed by the removal of her panties, he croaked “Would you like to see my penis?”

She answered “What’s a penis?”

He smiled and removed his Kalvin Kleins to reveal his erection!

“This is a penis” he said whilst pointing to his throbbing member.

“Oh!’ came her unenthusiastic reply. “It’s like a cock but smaller…”